A Fall From Innocence
by Rose DiVerona
Summary: REVISED, RESUBMITTED. A postwar oneshot from Harry's point of view. Completely AU. Harry's leaving, and he reflects on what exactly he's leaving behind, and why.


A/N: I submitted this once already, but it was a songfic before with a song I wrote myself that was terribly embarrassing (I'm trying really hard not to remember), so I took out the song, filled out the story a bit, and here I am resubmitting it. The summary explained it all, really. Entirely AU!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

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**A Fall From Innocence**

Harry James Potter stood at the edge of a plot of land he'd once regarded his second home. The tall, rather lop-sided main building looked dreary and worn in the moonlight, and the shed next to it looked little more than a lean-to. The whole place looked like a dump. A burrow.

But to Harry, it meant so much more.

It meant summers spent lounging around, little to no worries. It meant playing Quidditch in the fields with the best friends he'd ever had. It meant some of the best meals he'd ever tasted and the most love he'd ever gotten anywhere. The Burrow was home. It was youth and innocence and best of all, family. And now Harry was leaving it all behind.

Not that he was the only one. During the Final Battle, many had lost their lives. Three of them had called this place home for their whole lives. Fred, Percy...and Ginny.

Thinking of Ginny left Harry feeling depressed and worthless. How could he live with himself, knowing he hadn't been in time to save his own true love? Death Eaters had captured both Ron and Ginny - Harry had managed to save Ron, but it had been too late for his friend's younger sister.

Everyone told him it wasn't his fault. Even Mrs. Weasley, blind with grief over the death of two of her sons and her only daughter, told Harry over and over there was nothing he could have done. But Harry knew they were wrong. He could have saved Ginny - if he'd been a little quicker. If he'd figured it all out sooner. He could have saved both Weasleys, instead of just one. Now Harry found it hard to look at or talk to Ron.

It wasn't Ron's fault, either. Of course not; Ron had been tortured until he could barely remember his own name. Ron hadn't asked to be saved. But Harry still felt awkward. Because he knew, deep inside, that it had to be Ron or Ginny. Ginny or Ron. He could not have saved them both. Ron was alive; Ginny was dead.

Harry was sick of living this way- where everyone stared at him, the Ministry wanted him to speak on their behalf ("Go soak your head!" is what Harry had told them in rather uglier words), and people kept expecting him to do something extraordinary - as if he could just cast a spell and catch the Death Eaters that had manged to escape. He felt like a zoo animal, an attraction.

It wasn't the first time. But it was the worst. All Harry wanted to do was be left alone.

They thought he was some kind of hero because he'd defeated Voldemort. Everyone said it must have been "the hardest thing in the world." It wasn't. Defeating Voldemort had been easy compared to enduring grief the likes of which Harry could never have imagined.

That was why he was leaving. He didn't really know where he was headed. Away. Maybe to hide out in Godric's Hollow somewhere. Maybe he'd go further. He'd always wanted to visit Albania.

He thought about how everyone would feel when they woke up the next morning and found him gone. He felt a twinge of guilt when he thought about the look on Hermione's face when she read his note:

_Dear Everyone,_

_Please know that I love you all and it isn't your fault that I'm leaving. But I feel like I don't quite fit in here anymore...I need to get away...I can't take this pain. I'm sorry._

_All my love,_

_Harry_

That sounded a bit like he was considering committing suicide...'I can't take this pain.' And Harry would never dream of taking his own life, no matter how unfair he thought it was that he still had it. But if he went back to change the note, he'd lose his resolve. No. He knew Ron would feel really guilty - Harry hadn't missed the look in Ron's eyes whenever he saw Harry that seemed to wonder 'Does he wish he could go back in time and save Ginny instead of me? It's all my fault...' But Ron was engaged to Hermione now - it had happened suddenly just last week - and they'd have each other. Everyone else could cope without him.

He took one last look at the home he'd never had, tears coming to his eyes at the thought he might never see them all again.

He turned away and Disapparated with a pop.

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A/N: I like this much better than the first posting! Review!


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